What exactly is love? What does love look like? As we have been studying The Great Command, we see clearly that it is completely encompassed by us loving God. To me, this topic of love is extremely complex, but yet somewhat simple. Without running to the different Greek words used for love and writing a thesis, let’s try to remain as simple as possible. When asked to define and explain, most people run straight to 1 Corinthians 13. However, I believe the love described in this 13th chapter cannot be fully understood without hearing what Paul was teaching several chapters earlier.
The first three verses of 1 Corinthians 8 have taken a new meaning to me recently. The end of verse one states, “…but love edifies” (1 Cor. 8:1c, NASB). So the question really becomes, who is being edified in the act of love? The word edify is from the Greek word oikodomos commonly defined figuratively as, “building someone up, helping them stand” (Strong’s 3618). It is used as an action in such a way to show honor, respect and encouragement toward someone or something. The point I desire to make is that the action of love by its definition has a focal point on something or someone being lifted up, called edifying. This focal point of love is the important part of the act of love.
Please be patient with me as I seek to explain where I am going through a silly illustration. One may say, “I love chocolate.” Understanding what was already spoken about love edifying, I ask who is being edified in this statement or action? Is chocolate being edified? Not necessarily here. Instead, we actually see self edified. The truth is, it is the love of self and how self feels when chocolate is consumed. So because I love how I feel in what I taste when I eat chocolate, I will eat chocolate. Though our statement is “I love chocolate,” it is not chocolate that I love. Instead, it is myself that I am edifying by the act of eating the chocolate while having no regard for the chocolate.
Now carry this same idea into this next thought. Since Paul was moving on from the topic of marriage when he made this statement of love edifying in 1 Corinthians, I ask the question of why do you love your spouse, or why did you choose your spouse to begin with? Commonly, you see someone of the opposite gender that draws your attention; whether that is their eyes, smile, laugh, or whatever characteristic that caught your attention. You seek to get to know them better and before long your response is, “I love her or I love him.” So I ask the same question as before, who is being edified in this love? Is this individual fulfilling a need or want in your life? Is it that you love how you feel when you’re with them, so you make the statement that you love them? Has your focus been on loving and serving yourself through your spouse in your marriage? I guess this explains why more than 50% of marriages in the church end in divorce.
What if we sought our spouse through God alone? We let God choose our spouse as we wait for Him to give us direction prior to entering into a serious relationship. It is then that we can truly love that person by seeking to edify them; by dying to self to live for the other. This is ultimately how we edify God. Now does Paul’s teachings in 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5 make more sense? The truth is, when we seek to edify our spouse instead of ourselves we end up with a beautiful marriage where every personal want and need we have is also fulfilled.
Now that we understand that love is the action of edifying someone, we can approach the topic of The Great Command. When we truly love God, we edify God. Often we say we love God because we know that we need God and His blessings. It is a love based around us edifying ourselves because God fills a need we have. However, we read in 1 Corinthians 8:3, “but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him” (NASB). When we seek to edify God, meaning we have completely died to self and the desire to edify self, we then become known by God. This is the love Jesus had and this is the love Jesus desired to give us (John 17:25-26). It is by being known by God that our names are recorded in the book of life, which Jesus says should be our only focus (Luke 10:20). To love God means we are to edify God alone in both our words and our actions with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength; and when we do so then the blessings come. I think of John 3:30 when it comes to loving Jesus and edifying Him. In this passage John the Baptist spoke about Jesus saying, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (NASB).
Then we can work on the second half of The Great Command, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Again, to love our neighbor we must seek to edify our neighbor in our words and actions. Maybe then we can understand Jesus’ teaching in John 13-16. Whom are you seeking to edify by your words and your actions?
I desire to live a Faith-Full life, in the fullness of His love.
Derick L. Bailey 